Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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