I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Fuck appropriateness.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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