..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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