it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
you never un-have a 4some
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
