my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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