please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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