dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
