Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
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