he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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