Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
