How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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