and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
