ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
