know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
