Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
