Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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