I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's shark week go big or go home
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
