My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
