this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
