me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
