I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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