I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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