Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
