just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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