Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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