When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
im on a boat
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