sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Shame - the story of my life.
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