so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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