I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
