Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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