So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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