He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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