i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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