so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
