OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
