great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
sarcasm needs its own font
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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