there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The power of my boobs compel you
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
