don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
