If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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