ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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