Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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