Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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