Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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