He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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