Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize