the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
