one two three fourrrrnication!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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