She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
