Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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