Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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