Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
