dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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