Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
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Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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