I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
NoShamevember. You game?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
