sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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