I wanna bring you to show and tell
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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