lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I understand Curling. That high.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
