i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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