I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
