I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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