How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
