her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
