therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
