So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize