i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
