quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize