bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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