oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
